Growing Up in an Unconventional Home
Nick Allardice, a 38-year-old living in a Brooklyn brownstone, grew up in an unconventional household. His childhood was shaped by an "intentional community" in rural Australia, where his parents co-owned a large house with two other couples and their children. This setup meant shared spaces, including a kitchen where the group ate dinner together six nights a week. Beyond their immediate household, close family friends with four kids lived next door, and another couple they knew well lived nearby. This communal living arrangement was a unique way to build connections and share responsibilities.
However, as a child, Nick often felt self-conscious about his home life. He worried that his peers at school would ridicule him for living differently, and he feared being labeled as the child of "hippies." He tried to hide his unconventional upbringing, wanting to fit in like everyone else. Despite the benefits of his upbringing, he struggled to appreciate it as a child.
Looking back, Nick realizes how special his childhood was. The intentional community was designed to foster close relationships, and the adults worked together to maintain harmony. Four of the adults were social workers, and they even brought in an interpersonal relationships expert to conduct workshops on building shared values and dividing chores. These efforts created a supportive environment where both children and adults could thrive.
The Benefits of Intentional Community
It wasn’t until Nick was in his late 20s that he began to recognize the extraordinary gift of his upbringing. He had been so focused on the fear of being different that he overlooked the many benefits of living in an intentional community. The arrangement offered a unique balance of friendship, support, and community while still allowing for personal space and privacy—something introverts like Nick deeply appreciated.
The community was more than just a living arrangement; it was a way of life. They had "community days" where everyone worked together on projects like clearing land or digging a dam on the property. These activities were made fun for the kids and helped build a sense of teamwork and shared responsibility. The adults, too, benefited from the collaborative environment, sharing meals, laughter, and support.
For Nick, the experience taught him the value of connection and collaboration. It showed him that living in a community could be a source of strength rather than a source of embarrassment. This realization laid the groundwork for his decision to pursue a similar lifestyle later in life.
Bringing the Concept to Urban Living
Nick’s positive experiences in his childhood intentional community inspired him to explore a similar arrangement as an adult. He and his partner discussed the idea of co-owning a property with friends to create a smaller, inner-city version of the community he grew up with. They were curious to see if they could replicate the sense of camaraderie and support they had known in a more urban setting.
The journey was not without its challenges. Since 2013, they had attempted to create an intentional community three times. In Melbourne, Australia, they struggled to get friends to commit to the idea. In Oakland, California, they partially succeeded by renting a property with friends, but it wasn’t the same as co-owning. Finally, in 2021, they achieved their goal by becoming co-owners of a Brooklyn brownstone with three friends.
Their three-story brownstone in Brooklyn has eight bedrooms, six bathrooms, and three living spaces. It’s home to five people permanently, with at least one or two friends often staying over. Three of the residents work from home, and the others have hybrid schedules. The shared spaces foster a sense of community, and the group has weekly "family" dinners on Sunday nights. They also spend time together spontaneously, whether hanging out on the stoop or playing board games.
Designing a Modern Intentional Community
Nick’s current intentional community in Brooklyn is designed differently from the one he grew up in. Unlike the rural Australian property, space is limited in New York, so they have three distinct units with less shared space. However, they have taken steps to ensure the arrangement works for everyone.
To avoid conflicts and clarify expectations, they hired a lawyer to draft a detailed contract. The contract covers every potential scenario, from romantic separations to job loss, house damage, and even death. It also includes rules for inviting guests and resolving disputes. One key provision is that if someone decides to sell their share of the property, the other co-owners get first refusal to buy it. Currently, they collectively pay a single mortgage, which makes the property more affordable for everyone.
These boundaries have been crucial in maintaining harmony within the household. While the group loves having company, they also respect each other’s need for privacy. So far, there have been no major issues, and the arrangement has worked seamlessly.
The Financial and Emotional Rewards
One of the most significant advantages of living in an intentional community is the financial savings. By pooling their resources, Nick and his co-owners were able to afford a property that might have been out of reach individually. The shared costs of buying and maintaining the brownstone have made homeownership more accessible and less burdensome.
Beyond the financial benefits, the emotional rewards have been even more profound. The constant presence of friends and the sense of connection have enriched Nick’s life in ways he never imagined. He believes that proximity to loved ones is key to lowering barriers for spontaneous hangouts and fostering deeper relationships. For Nick, being close to his friends has been more valuable than perks like a perfect apartment or a shorter commute.
The support system within the intentional community has also been vital during life’s ups and downs. Whether dealing with health challenges, career changes, or the ups and downs of love, Nick and his housemates have been there for each other. This kind of support is invaluable and creates a sense of belonging that is hard to find in more traditional living arrangements.
The Ripple Effect of Intentional Living
Nick’s intentional community has had a ripple effect beyond his own household. In 2022, three of their friends replicated the exact model a few blocks away in their own three-unit brownstone. These friends have even joined Nick’s group for their weekly Sunday family dinners, expanding the sense of community even further.
This replication highlights the appeal of intentional communities. By combining financial practicality with emotional support and shared experiences, Nick and his co-owners have created a way of living that resonates with others. Their success in Brooklyn shows that intentional communities are not just a relic of the past but a viable option for modern urban living.
Nick’s story reflects a growing desire for connection in an increasingly isolated world. His journey from embarrassment to embrace of his unconventional upbringing underscores the importance of reimagining how we live and interact with others. For Nick, intentional community has been more than just a place to live—it’s a way of life that enriches his relationships, supports his well-being, and fosters a sense of belonging.
In the end, Nick’s experience shows that intentional communities are not just for hippies or idealists but for anyone seeking a more connected, supportive, and meaningful way to live.
