Embracing the Decision to Rent
My husband and I used to feel pressured to buy a house, driven by the idea of living up to the American dream. However, we’ve come to realize that renting is what’s best for us right now, and we feel good about this decision. Our current rental home was love at first sight when we first saw it in February 2021. The natural light pouring in through the large bay window and the spacious living area immediately captured our hearts. We knew right away that this was the place for us. The haphazardly taken photo on Craigslist didn’t do it justice, but it turned out to be a hidden gem nestled in a charming neighborhood with family-friendly sidewalks and beautiful landscapes.
The home itself is a two-bedroom bungalow in the stunning Blue Ridge Mountains, crafted with attention to detail, tasteful crown molding, Art Deco-style door knobs, and original hardwood flooring. Compared to our previous small NYC apartment, this home feels spacious and has quickly become a place where we can relax and thrive. A few months after moving in, we celebrated my daughter’s first birthday with both sides of our family attending. The fact that all of our immediate relatives could visit us for the day or overnight was an added bonus to our move. It was moments like these that reminded us just how right this decision felt for our growing family.
The Pressure to Buy and the Myth of the "Forever Home"
A month after moving in, I discovered I was pregnant with our second child. This news, combined with societal expectations, made us feel pressured to find a "forever home." We believed the myth that we were "behind" our peers and thought we needed more space for our growing family. However, this pressure was self-imposed and rooted in the idea that owning a home is the ultimate marker of success. Looking back, I realize that this mindset was unhealthy and added unnecessary stress to our lives.
Fast forward to today, we’ve found contentment and gratitude in our rental situation. Paying just $1,750 a month—a fraction of the average mortgage payment of $3,500 in Asheville, North Carolina—we’re able to afford the best private preschools for our daughters. They receive focused attention and care, which has been transformative for their development. We’ve also learned to prioritize our family’s emotional and physical well-being, recognizing that this is what truly matters in life. By being intentional about what serves us and what doesn’t, we regularly evaluate and adjust our priorities to ensure we’re living in alignment with our values.
Rejecting the "Rat Race" and Embracing Simplicity
The old narrative of the American dream no longer serves us. The idea that success is tied to owning a home, accumulating possessions, or keeping up with societal expectations has lost its appeal. Instead, we’ve chosen to focus on what truly brings us joy and fulfillment. By renting, we’ve been able to maintain a comfortable lifestyle free of debt. My husband’s salary covers all of our necessary expenses, while my earnings go into savings or fund "extras" that enhance our lives and the lives of our daughters.
We’ve also embraced the freedom that comes with renting. We can walk out of our front door for evening strolls around the block, enjoying the safety and beauty of our neighborhood. Our neighbors are reliable and supportive, adding a sense of community to our lives. While we may not have the largest home or the most aesthetically pleasing kitchen or bathroom, what we have is functional and adequate. And that’s okay.
Letting Go of Ideals and Finding Happiness
One of the most significant lessons we’ve learned is the importance of letting go of ideals that no longer serve us. As millennials, we’ve been bombarded with messages about what success looks like, but we’ve found that these expectations often lead to stress and burnout. By releasing ourselves from these pressures, we’ve become less stressed and more carefree. This mental and emotional freedom has allowed us to focus on what truly matters—our relationships and well-being.
Of course, there are those who might view our decision to rent as a failure, especially as 30-somethings in a society that often equates homeownership with adulthood. But when I look at my happy, healthy children and see the joy in my husband’s face when we spend time together in our modest home, I see success. I see a life free from burnout, anxiety, and shame—a life worth celebrating.
The Value of Intentional Living
Renting has also taught us the value of intentional living. Because our home is smaller, we’ve learned to be mindful of what we bring into our space, both physically and emotionally. We’ve adopted a minimalist approach to life, focusing on what truly adds value to our experiences. This mindset has overflowed into other areas of our lives, helping us make decisions that align with our priorities.
We’ve also found creative ways to manage the limitations of renting. While we can’t accommodate out-of-town guests or take lavish vacations, we’re able to cover the cost of a night or two at a local hotel when visitors come. We also enjoy vacations with extended family by splitting the expenses, ensuring that we can still create meaningful memories without the financial burden.
In the end, our decision to rent has been a journey of self-discovery and growth. It’s taught us to prioritize what truly matters—our family’s well-being—and to let go of societal expectations that no longer serve us. renting may not be the traditional path, but for us, it’s the right one. And as we continue to navigate life’s ups and downs, we’re grateful for the peace, joy, and contentment that our rental home brings to our lives.
