For those who came of age in the 90s and 00s, the prevailing sentiment is that sex education fell short in providing practical insights. The curriculum, often centered around a preventative approach, predominantly focused on averting pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs), with information primarily tailored for heterosexual individuals. While there is a shift towards a more inclusive and “sex-positive” sex education in some schools, many individuals in their 20s and 30s still find themselves lacking essential knowledge to navigate the complexities of relationships and sexuality in adulthood.
However, it’s never too late to fill in the gaps left by conventional sex education. Here are five crucial lessons that sex ed should have conveyed:
- Dispelling the Myth of a ‘Normal’ Sex Drive: Traditional sex education seldom delved into the nuances of sexual desire, perpetuating the myth of a universally ‘normal’ sex drive. What it failed to communicate is that libido is highly variable, influenced by factors such as hormonal fluctuations, stress, medication, lifestyle choices, and more. Grasping one’s sexual needs is vital for personal well-being and maintaining healthy relationships. It is essential to openly communicate with your partner about desires and concerns, and seeking advice from healthcare professionals is encouraged if issues arise.
- The Significance of Open Sexual Communication: Historically, sex education focused on the potential harms associated with sex, contributing to the taboo nature of the subject. Yet, recent research underscores the positive correlation between sexual communication, relationship satisfaction, and sexual fulfillment. Openly discussing desires and fantasies can enhance intimacy, fostering healthier relationships. Psychologists specializing in relationships recommend initiating such conversations early in a relationship to establish needs and ensure sexual compatibility. Continuous communication, including sharing sexual fantasies as trust deepens, contributes to sustained relationship satisfaction.
- Recognizing Sexual Fluidity: Sex education from the 90s and 00s often lacked inclusivity, disproportionately catering to heterosexual and cisgender individuals. The reality is that sexuality is multifaceted and fluid, influenced by biological, psychological, and social factors. Acknowledging that sexual desire and attractions can evolve throughout one’s life is crucial for dispelling harmful misconceptions and encouraging an open exploration of one’s sexual identity. Research suggests that sexual fluidity may be more common among certain groups, emphasizing the natural diversity within human sexuality.
- Demystifying Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs): While sex ed primarily focused on preventing STIs, it inadvertently contributed to stigmatizing these conditions. STIs are prevalent, with one person diagnosed every four minutes in the UK. Reducing stigma is crucial for both mental and physical health, encouraging individuals to disclose their STI status to their partners. Beyond prevention, it’s vital to educate about symptom recognition and treatment to dispel common myths. Early diagnosis and treatment not only prevent complications but also empower individuals to make informed choices about their sexual health.
- Understanding Pregnancy and Fertility: Sex education’s emphasis on avoiding pregnancy often resulted in a lack of education about pregnancy itself and fertility. Approximately 10%-15% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, and understanding the commonality of this event can provide crucial support to those affected. Sex education should have covered topics like the physiological changes during pregnancy, the prevalence of fertility issues, and how factors such as age, weight, diet, and exercise impact fertility. Educating both men and women about the complexities of fertility ensures a more comprehensive understanding of family planning.
Even if you missed out on comprehensive sex education during your formative years, it’s never too late to embark on a journey of self-discovery and explore what healthy relationships and sexuality mean to you. In an era where information is readily accessible, taking charge of your sexual health and well-being is a lifelong learning process.
