The Unrelenting Reality of Rejection: Gen Z’s Struggle to Navigate a World of Unprecedented "No’s"

Introduction: A Generation Defined by Rejection

Em’s story is a stark illustration of the challenges Gen Z faces in today’s world. After graduating from the Pratt Institute in 2020, just two months into the COVID-19 pandemic, Em found themselves in a bleak job market. Despite their efforts to pivot—attended a nine-month coding boot camp, applied to over 400 jobs across various industries, and even took on menial contract work—the constant stream of rejections has left them feeling defeated. Em’s experience is not unique; it reflects a broader reality for many Gen Zers who are grappling with rejection on an unprecedented scale.

From the dating scene to college admissions and the job market, Gen Z is facing rejection at levels never seen before. The World Happiness Report has dubbed them the unhappiest generation, and for good reason. They are the first generation to come of age in a world completely mediated by technology, where the opportunities are endless, but so are the rejections. This has left many young people feeling disillusioned, anxious, and disconnected from the world around them.

The Dating Scene: A Purgatory of Swipe-Based Rejection

The dating world is one area where Gen Z’s experience of rejection is particularly pronounced. With the rise of dating apps, young people have more potential partners at their fingertips than ever before. Yet, this abundance of choice has paradoxically led to a culture of disposability, where connections are easily made and just as easily discarded. Terms like "ghosting," "situationships," and "breadcrumbing" have entered the lexicon to describe the various ways people navigate—or fail to navigate—romantic relationships.

According to data from Hinge, 44% of Gen Z respondents had little or no dating experience, despite the widespread use of dating apps. This gap is attributed to a heightened risk aversion, fueled by social media’s portrayal of the world as a dangerous and uncertain place, as well as the influence of helicopter parenting. Logan Ury, Hinge’s director of relationship science, notes that 56% of Gen Z respondents said fear of rejection held them back from pursuing relationships, compared to 51% for millennials. The result is a generation that is both eager to connect and overwhelmingly afraid of getting hurt.

The Education System: A Gauntlet of Rejection

The college admissions process has also become a battleground of rejection for Gen Z. Unlike previous generations, who often applied to just one or two schools, today’s applicants are encouraged to cast a wide net. In the 2023-24 admissions season, the average applicant applied to 6.65 Common App-affiliated schools alone, up 7% from the previous year. This trend has led to a surge in applications, with the number of applications to the country’s 67 most selective colleges tripling over the past two decades to nearly 2 million a year.

For many Gen Zers, the rejection they experience during the college admissions process is deeply personal. Ella, a 20-year-old from Allentown, Pennsylvania, applied to 12 colleges and was rejected by 10. She describes how this rejection shook her self-confidence and forced her to confront the limitations of her own hard work. Similarly, Dylan, a 22-year-old NYU student, applied to nearly 20 schools, including most of the Ivies and Stanford, and was accepted by just three or four. This experience left him feeling demoralized and questioning the fairness of the system.

The Job Market: A Numbers Game of Rejection

The job market has proven to be another arena where Gen Z is facing rejection on an unprecedented scale. With the rise of online job boards and applicant tracking systems, applying for jobs has never been easier—or more disheartening. According to data from Greenhouse, the average knowledge worker job opening received 244 applications in February 2025, up from 93 in February 2019. This means that for every position, there are 243 rejections—or ghosted applications.

For many young people, the job search has become a numbers game, with little feedback or encouragement along the way. Catherine, a recent Barnard graduate, has applied to over 300 jobs and interviewed for 20 of them. She describes the process as impersonal and dispiriting, with little indication of whether her efforts are even misguided. Her experience is far from unique. Lanya, a 22-year-old media studies graduate, has yet to find a job despite her impressive resume, including a Nasdaq internship. She says, "Self-worth-wise, this is the lowest I’ve ever felt."

The Mental Toll of Rejection: Resilience and Disconnect

The constant barrage of rejection is taking a toll on Gen Z’s mental health. While some young people are able to develop resilience and move on from rejection, others are feeling overwhelmed and disconnected. Natalie Buchwald, founder and clinical director of Manhattan Mental Health Counseling, notes that many Gen Zers are adopting a "blasé, noncommittal attitude" as a way of coping with rejection. However, she warns that this "numbness" is not the same as resilience and may actually be a sign of deeper emotional disconnection.

Barry Schwartz, a psychologist who wrote about the paradox of choice, suggests that the overabundance of options in today’s world is leading to a rise in "maximizers"—people who are determined to find the best possible option, even if it means enduring endless rejection. However, this mindset can lead to disappointment and dissatisfaction, as the reality of rejection often fails to live up to the idealized expectations created by social media and other digital platforms.

Conclusion: The Future of Rejection and Resilience

Despite the challenges they face, there are signs that Gen Z is beginning to push back against the systems that are failing them. Some young people are finding fulfillment in passion projects, side hustles, or even starting their own businesses. Others are beginning to question the algorithms and technologies that are driving the rejection they experience.

Jeff Guenther, a TikTok-famous therapist, suggests that the anger and frustration many Gen Zers feel should be directed not at themselves, but at the technologies and systems that are perpetuating the cycle of rejection. "You’re not being rejected by actual people," he says, "but by technology." However, for now, many young people are stuck in a cycle of resignation and acceptance, viewing rejection as an inevitable part of life in a hyper-connected, algorithm-driven world.

As Gen Z continues to navigate this uncertain landscape, it remains to be seen how their experiences with rejection will shape their collective identity and the world they will one day inherit. One thing is certain: the way they handle rejection today will have far-reaching consequences for the future of society.