The Eyes: The Window to the Soul (and Your Soulmate?)
When it comes to dating, first impressions matter, and one of the most powerful tools you can wield is your gaze. According to Australian dating coach Louanne Ward, the eyes are not just windows to the soul but also a gateway to creating an undeniable connection with someone. In a viral Instagram post, Ward revealed a unique flirting technique that relies on eye contact to make you "10 times more attractive" on dates. She calls it the "AT20 Eye Contact Rule," a method that has sparked curiosity and conversation among singles looking to improve their dating game. The idea is simple but profound: maintaining direct eye contact for just 20% of the conversation while subtly shifting your gaze around their face for the remaining 80%. This approach, Ward claims, creates a magnetic pull that feels natural and intriguing, making the other person want to lean in and engage more deeply.
The AT20 Eye Contact Rule Explained: A Balance of Gaze and Shifts
The AT20 Eye Contact Rule, short for "Around-the-Target 20%," is all about striking the right balance in your gaze. While many relationship experts emphasize the importance of eye contact, Ward argues that constant staring can come off as intense, creepy, or confrontational. On the flip side, avoiding eye contact altogether can make you seem nervous, uninterested, or lacking confidence. The solution? A balanced approach where you maintain direct eye contact for 20% of the conversation and let your gaze wander subtly around their face for the other 80%. This subtle shifting—perhaps to their lips, cheekbones, or forehead—creates a sense of intrigue and chemistry. By breaking eye contact at key moments, you leave room for mystery, making the other person subconsciously want to pull you back in.
The Psychology of Subtle Gaze Shifts: Creating Natural Intrigue
So why does this technique work? Ward explains that the brain associates this pattern of gaze with flirting, intimacy, and chemistry. When you hold eye contact for a moment and then look away, it mimics subconscious romantic cues that signal attraction. This subtle back-and-forth creates a dynamic that feels natural and engaging, preventing the awkwardness of over-staring. It’s all about making the interaction feel comfortable yet intriguing. By shifting your gaze, you avoid coming across as overly aggressive or intimidating, allowing the other person to feel at ease while still maintaining a sense of connection. This balance is key to fostering a sense of mutual interest and curiosity.
The Science Behind the Technique: Eye Contact and Attraction
While the AT20 Eye Contact Rule might sound like a modern dating hack, it’s actually backed by psychology. A 2020 study by Dutch researchers found that eye contact is one of the most important nonverbal cues in communicating affection and developing romantic connections. Although the study noted that eye contact doesn’t have a direct effect on romantic attraction in the long term, it plays a significant role in initial interactions—like first dates. Eye contact reduces uncertainty and increases intimacy, making the conversation feel more meaningful and personal. Ward’s technique capitalizes on this by combining direct eye contact with subtle shifts, creating a perfect blend of engagement and mystery that keeps the other person interested.
Mastering the AT20 Technique: Tips for Execution
So how do you put the AT20 Eye Contact Rule into practice? Ward offers some practical advice. When the other person is speaking, hold direct eye contact for about 20% of the time. While listening, allow your gaze to naturally wander around their face—but avoid robotic staring. Instead, let your eyes move smoothly, perhaps to their lips, forehead, or cheekbones. When you do look away, do so slowly and intentionally, rather than darting your eyes away abruptly. And here’s a pro tip: when you re-establish eye contact, add a brief smile or smirk. This small gesture triggers warmth and connection, making the interaction feel more personal and authentic.
Conclusion: The Power of Eye Contact in Dating
At its core, the AT20 Eye Contact Rule is about creating a connection that feels natural and engaging. By balancing direct eye contact with subtle shifts, you strike the perfect balance between confidence and mystery. It’s a technique that’s backed by psychology and proven to make a lasting impression on dates. So the next time you’re out with someone special, try putting Ward’s rule into practice. It’s not about manipulation—it’s about fostering genuine chemistry and making meaningful connections. After all, as the saying goes, the eyes are the window to the soul. And with the right gaze, you might just find yourself looking into the eyes of your soulmate.
