The Challenges of Coming of Age Sexually in the 21st Century
Coming of age sexually in the 21st century is a daunting and often painful experience for young girls. The world they navigate is filled with confusing signals about sex, love, and relationships. Hookup culture, the overwhelming presence of dating apps, and a society increasingly influenced by pornography have created a landscape where young women are left feeling lost and disempowered. Louise Perry, author of A New Guide to Sex in the 21st Century, steps into this complex conversation with a message aimed directly at teenage girls. She argues that progressive feminism, while well-intentioned, has failed young women by not providing them with the guidance they need to make informed choices about their bodies and relationships. Perry’s book, adapted from her earlier work The Case Against the Sexual Revolution, is a response to the growing demand from parents and young women alike for a voice that offers clarity and honesty in a chaotic sexual culture.
The Failures of Progressive Feminism and Hookup Culture
Perry’s central argument is that modern feminism has let young women down by encouraging them to embrace a sexual freedom that often leaves them feeling unfulfilled and exploited. She criticizes the notion that casual sex and hookup culture are liberating, pointing out that many young women today are having sex out of obligation rather than desire. This, she argues, is a far cry from the sexual liberation that feminism once promised. Perry notes that while past generations of women faced the constraints of rigid societal roles, today’s young women are burdened by the expectations of a “sexual revolution” that has prioritized male gratification over female well-being. She writes, “The evidence doesn’t reveal a generation of women reveling in sexual liberation—instead, a lot of women seem to be having unpleasant, crappy sex out of a sense of obligation.”
A New Vision for Young Women’s Sexual Lives
Perry’s book is not a call for abstinence but a plea for young women to rethink the way they approach sex and relationships. She encourages them to consider the long-term consequences of their choices and to prioritize their emotional and physical well-being. One of her key pieces of advice is to only have sex with someone who they believe would make a good father to their children. This, she explains, is not about intending to have children with that person but about using it as a benchmark for trustworthiness and commitment. Perry also critiques the cultural narrative that sex is a meaningless leisure activity, a myth she believes has been perpetuated by the widespread use of birth control. She argues that while birth control is a vital tool, it does not erase the emotional impact of sex.
The Cultural Impact of the Sexual Revolution
Perry’s critique of the sexual revolution is not about rolling back progress but about acknowledging the unintended consequences of a culture that has normalized casual sex and devalued intimacy. She points out that young women today are growing up in a world where they are expected to navigate a sexual landscape that often leaves them feeling used and unfulfilled. Perry shares stories of young women who have never had a proper boyfriend, only a string of casual encounters that have left them feeling empty and confused. She argues that this is a result of a culture that has coerced women into accepting a form of “sexual liberation” that prioritizes male pleasure over female comfort and satisfaction.
A Call for Honesty and Empowerment
Perry’s book is not just a critique of modern sexual culture; it is also a call to action. She wants young women to demand more respect for themselves and their bodies in a world that often devalues both. Perry’s message is unapologetically direct, and she pulls no punches in her critique of hookup culture and the ideologies that support it. While her arguments may resonate with socially conservative viewpoints, she is careful to frame her critique in secular and non-partisan terms. Perry’s goal is to reach progressive teenagers who are often steeped in the rhetoric of “sex-positive feminism” but may be unaware of the ways in which this ideology can fail them. She hopes to empower young women to make choices that align with their own values and aspirations, rather than conforming to societal expectations.
The Need for Clarity in a Sexualized World
In a world where young women are constantly bombarded with conflicting messages about sex, love, and relationships, Perry’s book offers a much-needed voice of clarity and reason. She acknowledges that her message may not be popular in a culture that often celebrates casual sex and sexual experimentation. However, she believes that young women deserve honesty about the potential risks and downsides of hookup culture. By encouraging young women to think critically about their choices and to prioritize their own well-being, Perry hopes to help them avoid the mistakes of previous generations. Her book is a timely reminder that true empowerment comes not from conforming to societal expectations but from making informed, intentional choices that reflect one’s own values and goals. With A New Guide to Sex in the 21st Century, Perry is offering young women a roadmap to navigate the complexities of modern sexuality with confidence and self-respect.
